Today is the day. Stream that new flame from Dirty Logan hitta Dough Van Gogh.
Did you know that masturbation and femme self pleasure does not have to be penetrative?! As obvious as it is I recently came to this realization. Partnered or alone, penerative sex has long been my norm- that is until I challenged my pleasure practice to intergrate new sensations. I used to limit my pleasure to one area of my body, which was limiting myself from feeling the depth of pleasure when I engage my Full body. Now I can bring myself to orgasm without penetration in its place the power of sensation of touch and noticing of my body. I’ve learned how to do this through Bondage and rope play.
At the intersection of my Healing and Pleasure journey exist Bondage. I am in the month nine of practicing this sensual art form. I became interested in BDSM culture by FKA TWIGS. Six years ago I was obsessed with her and the visuals she was dropping were deeply inspired Bdsm , so I like to say that’s where the interest began to show interest in BDSM because it was the first time I saw a Black Woman doing it in a way that seemed to be for her pleasure too.
Then three years ago, an artist from California I follow instagram went to an event and the person hosting it was a Black woman . So now I was shook that Black women in the states are doing this ! And yea it went from there. So then I began following @mediumsofhealing , the Black Woman Host from the event on instagram.
Her practice is centered on using BDSM as a tool for Healing Trauma while also engaging the body in pleasure primarily on Black Femme bodies. After following her for some months, I paid for a phone consultation that changed my life for the better. Through our conversation we discussed many things – who I am, my interests in kink, and my health both physical and mental. From that information she gathered, she assessed what type of play would be best for me. I was fortunate that my kinky interest for BDSM play aligned with what she believed would fit my personal needs: Rope play and bondage!
Rope play and bondage is soothing for folk that experience anxiety and depression because when tied properly it simulates the same comfort as a newborn being swaddled. @mediumsofhealing explained to me that us humans never grow out of that need of being held to help ourselves calm down and rope play brings about those comforts. She then explained to me steps to follow as I began my journey into Rope play and bondage . First step was learning the Ropes, Literally.
@mediumsofhealing suggested the best rope length to begin with and for me to learn them intimately.First, I had to get used to tying them around my limbs and body (with surgical scissors always handy!) before allowing myself to be anyone’s lil rope bunny. As I tie the ropes she invited me to breathe. I make it a practice to notice my breath with each movement my hands make with the ropes in them. I let my mind focus on what I am doing- how tight or loose I am tying them and any adjustments I need to make, in real time.
Although her suggestion was for me to practice my ropes alone without partnered play for the first three month of play , I am now at nine months of solo play. In this time I have found ropes to be a useful tool for when I feel a range of emotions from anxious, overwhelmed, sad, and sexy. I play music for myself, burn incense and begin my personal session: I mediate in my ropes. I take sexy selfies and videos when the mood strikes me. I feel and touch all over myself and ropes everytime ensuring it is always enjoyable. In those moments I feel deeply powerful to know that I can grant myself both peace and pleasure with my Ropes and my own two hands.
I am now a year and some change in my bondage journey. Since originally writing this piece I have explored partner play with someone I care deeply for. I have held space for interested Black and People of Color to experiment with Bondage and I am so excited to share more with y’all on this budding community! Stay tuned and stay Kinky!
Days of Rest EP by Dough Van Gogh drops on September 30th. Check back here for the streaming information on the release date.
This will be available on all major streaming platforms including Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music and more!
1. Jive Player
2. S. Pellegrino
3. Nipsey Voice (Flights to Tulum) feat. @kza_klee
4. Proverbs & Prayers feat. @kza_klee
As many of our’s Hot Girl Summer come to a close, I felt it would be best to recap the music we have been blasting this past season! Here is a countdown of the some of the best femmes that dropped songs within the year. If you missed out on the festivities this summer, don’t even worry – I included dope femmes that give us music for all four seasons !
This young lyricist brings the punches on her tracks . On her latest EP released across platforms she unleashes the whiplash crazed tongue of hers in songs like freestyle and more- Listen here!
Feel the gap of the vast Black Diaspora close listening to this rapper. Sampa infuses sounds of her home in Zambia , Africa Traditional Religion , speaking power of matriarchy with a flow that is a modern twist if Erykah Badu was a spokenwordsmith. Listen as she invites listeners to breathe, to dance, and to move into Action.
she is a personal fave ! this Buffalo Based Rapper lyrics encompasses her journey through mental health , love and navigating life as a Black femme in a male dominated society. Her content isn’t the only thing of value- her artistic take with beats and visuals are an additional treat. Stream her music here!
self- described as “high priestess of sounds. who create ratchet spiritual, channeling ancestors, fall into some higher spiritual dimensions.” Listen here! !
Creator of thee Hot Girl Summer Playlist does not shy away from stating her worth is not for negotiation. and that her goals are for her to obtain. She does this all while giving us bops to twerk until our knees give out – give her latest album a Listen here!
Think Weird kid mixed with mad scientist typa vibe and you get one Whacky World. Tierra’s mastery of lyrics over dizzing beats will have your ears begging for more! Listen to her latest single!
Saweetie channels unapologetic Black Girl vibes as she plays with fun lyrics about what she likes and how she is seen. Give her a Listen!
This magical duo of conscious rappers focuses on their spiritual path intersecting with the current movement for Black Liberation. Become filled with nostalgia as they mix vibes reminiscent of Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu with their own unique sound. Listen to their beautiful journey here!
Doja playfully dabbles with different beats and her flow giving us new flavors of music to move to. Listen to her latest music here!
I had to give a honourable mention to OG femme rapper Rapsody who released this ode to Black Women. It would be a great injustice to us if I bypassed her latest star studded album, Eve. Listen to her as she uplifts the memories of famous Black Women with songs like Sojourner and more !
Kelila came to my room for the uptheeth time that night, extra fussy. It was 11:30 pm. I walked her back to her room when I noticed what was on her bed. I looked over at Zaire’s long sleeping body and smiled. Before Zaire drifted off to sleep, he extended the best comfort he knew he could to his baby sister. I felt the warmth of pride from that. I held Kelila’s hand as she climbed back into bed.
“Do you know who made this?” I asked her.
She shook her head to each side rattling barretts against her pillow case.
“Grandma Mary ..” I lay next to her and pull Zaire’s quilt up over us.
“Grandma Mary is papa’s mom. She’s my g’ma . wanna hear a story about her ?”
Kelila shook her up and down as she cuddled more into me, pulling my arms around her body .
I told her stories about the Alchemy of Grandma Mary’s hands. How she carried in her muscle memory cultivating the ground to bring forth life from South Carolina into the backyard of a new northern city. She passed on gardening to her children and grandchildren like me. Grandma Mary raised all seven of her children with those hands and generations followed up after that.
. When the majority of us Grand children had children of our own , we gathered at Grandma Mary’s house for a special ceremony .Each family contributed food that we cooked for this gathering. We stuffed ourselves of dinner and dessert then gathered into the living room.We crowded into the room until our bodies overflowed onto the stairs and into the dinning room to see the Grand unveiling. Grandma Mary sat in her arm chair placed in front of the television facing everyone with cloth bags stacked beside her. She had been working on quilts for all her Great – Grandchildren and this was the day she gifted those creations to them. She called each Great Grand Child – from oldest to youngest by name up to come sit on her lap. She unfolded each quilt and placed it around their bodies then held it up for everyone to see. Each of us parent snapped photos to capture this special moment. For every child and grandchild that came after she made quilts and afghans for us . All of us in our homes still had our first quilts . We knew that regardless of our beliefs these blankets had powers. The cloth was held in her palms as she wove her love in with each stitch and thought of us personally.
“When you pull this quilt over you, you are covered by Grandma Mary’s protective energy . No harm can find you, nothing scary can come get you. Because what Grandma Mary’s hands makes grows and lives free, as long as it is under her protection, and within reach of her energy.” I told Kelila. I kissed her cheek good night as she relaxed and drifted off into a sound sleep.
Last month I stumbled across the cutest duo: Jennelle Eliana, an adventurous Woman of Color and her pet snake Alfredo, a spunky black eyed leucistic python. On her nineteenth birthday Jennelle made the decision to pursue van life to avoid the high rental cost in California and live a tiny life style that she had long been envisioning. On her YouTube channel where over 2 million subscribers tune in to watch her videos that last no longer than 20 minutes each Jannelle captures her daily journeys to a dope soundtrack.
I first came across Jennelle through a Black Girls Who Love Anime Facebook group. When I saw her decked out van equipped with a living space layout, I was intrigued enough to check out her youtube. I quickly became obsessed after watching her first two videos and am now devoted watcher and subscriber.
What I love most about Jennelle is her bubbly personality. I enjoy how she opens and closes each video in her own unique way and the incorporates humor into the climatic moments she encounters. I admire Jennelle’s willingness to be vulnerable and open with us her audience about her past struggles and current triumphs- she doesn’t shy away from being emotional . I was also drawn in by her humility as a young person who is trying to navigate life as an adult with all of it complexities and wonders and opportunities it presents. I find her and her channel an inspiring snapshot of what life has evolved into for us a People of Color and as Womxn: Exciting and scary. The fact that Jennelle is honest about the time she felt unsafe as a woman traveler and the means she takes to protect herself is a testimony of how Women and Femmes of Color must navigate our lives in this world.
Whenever I need a quick mid-day or night pick me up I turn to Jennelle and Alfredo so, if you haven’t caught on to watching – I invite you to do so Now! Signing off in the words of Jennelle “Toddles!”
This piece will contain explict content about living with mental illness and self harm. This is my warning, to you as a reader, that this content may be triggering.
I have a testimony I want to share with y’all about depression and suicidality.
The week of my 26th birthday, I made the difficult desison to receive a mental health check up that resulted in a 10-day in-patient hospital stay to treat my mental state. It was at this time I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder and Suicidality. Suicidality is a condition that when triggered results in a person having obessive complusive thoughts of self harm and suicide. These are conditions I have lived with for all of my adult life that have gone untreated by medical professionals due to my own fear.
To understand my fear of medicine and medical facilitates, we have to time travel back to my youth. When I was sixteen healing for the first time from sexual trauma, I made two attempts on my life that resulted in me being heavily medicated for a time on antidepressants. Now, at sixteen my brain was not fully developed. The medication I was being prescribed intended purpose was to stablize my moods, and treat my suicidality. Yet the side effects made me feel numb and like a shell of a person. This experience with medication was traumatizing to me. I developed a fear in my adult life of receiving medical attention for the depression and suicidality. For a long time I self medicated with smoking weed and eating edibles to mellow out my intense mood swings and quiet the thoughts of self harm when they got too loud.
I spent my birthday alone in bed sick with a viral infection trying to get to soothe myself with a blunt when I realized that living in this way did not feel useful or helpful anymore. I am grateful for the relief weed gave me intermediately and for the awareness that I was in need of something more. Getting admitted to the hospital felt scary and embarrassing. I admitted to my mother that I felt weak and incompetent. She, like all great mothers, reminded me there is No Shame in receiving mental health help- in fact it required a considerable amount of strength. She was right. It will be one week since my release and going on three weeks since I have been on mediciation treating my mental state.
Within the first twenty four hours I felt the first wave of mental clarity – it was Ah- Mazing ! The relief of being on antidepressant and antipsychotic does come with a cost. Due to my weight and biological make up I have felt all the the side effects at one time or another intensely. After completing simple task like cooking a meal, washing dishes, or bathing my children I feel completely wiped out physically. I get dizzy and this interferes with daily life as well.
In the span of the past few weeks my life has shifted. I learned the importance of priortizing my own care. Being hospitalized I was forced to sit my busy ass down and face the darkness within myself. I have been trying to distract myself with organizing, performing and other community based activities than face the reality that I am lonely. And that loneliness is a direct result of when I self isolate when sad. I have for a long while found comfort in retreating inward, and for a time that was what was safest to do. At this current moment in my life I have had to sit with how not being expansive, and projecting my fears is actually limiting myself. I am leaning into challenging myself to expand my comfort zone by sharing my story with y’all.
Healing is messy work. It requires that we be present while doing it. There is no right or wrong way- but there is trial and error to see what is best useful for you. Let my testimony inspire you to take charge of your mental health wellness. I invite you to stop for a moment and Breathe with me. Give yourself a gentle loving touch and say this with me :
(while you breathe in) I am Grateful for the Gift that is this Day .
(while you breathe out) I release all my shame to be transformed into compassion.
2 WEEKS AWAY FROM THE BEAU FLEUVE MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL AT SILO CITY!
Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Festival will host its 3rd Annual festival this summer on Sunday August 25th, 2019 entitled “The Ultimate Sunday Funday” at Silo City. Beau Fleuve Music and Arts Festival was created to celebrate the rich history of Buffalo’s arts scene and illuminate the resurgence of all forms of music , art , media and culture that resonates in and from Buffalo & WNY for one day only. Festival goers will experience a true multi-cultural experience serving as a melting pot of music, arts and culture.
This Year’s Festival will include attractions will include 3 performance stages of 30+ performers, Art Installations , Culture Exhibits , Fan Favorite Silent disco, Next Generation Festival of the Youth Stage Street-Art, Beer-Wine Garden , Food Trucks , Vendors Village , Attractions, Live to Air Podcast , Family Fun zone &more!
Festival Goers will be able to enjoy all mediums of art and music from Blues, Hip Hop, Rock, Country, Brass, Indie, EDM, R&B, Gospel, Soul, Trap and more. Some of this year’s performers consist of Headliner ZURI APPLEBY (Touring Bassist) who is currently on tour with National Recording Artist YUNA, CURTIS LOVELL (Neo Soul), MILLER & THE OTHER SINNERS (country), THE MOLICE (alternative), FLUSE (alternative) UNIVERSAL PHUNK (band) , FREAK THE MIGHTY (Trap) , HEATHER RUSSELL (Canadian R&B) , LOVE THE GENIUS (Hip Hop) and more.
Few new additions will be the “Next Generation Festival of the Youth Stage that will highlight youth musicians, poets, artist and entrepreneurs under 18. Ticket prices for all ages starting at General Admission tickets $10 also with a new group pack called “The Herd” that is buy 3 , get 1 Ticket Free. Sunday Funday Activities, attractions and games.
Beau Fleuve Music & Arts has been hitting the ground running in 2019 from hosting monthly events “Arts x Beats” Concert & Art Series to launching its Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Foundation , Sneaker Ball and recent announcement of development plans for the Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Center.
Also, special tees are available for purchase with a general admission ticket for $30.00!!!
No stranger to Flagrant City, my longtime childhood friend and current homegirl, Zuri Appleby (Bassist) born and raised in our hometown of Buffalo, NY is set to headline and close out the 3rd Annual Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Festival!!! Zuri, who moved over here to LA a few years back has been on tour with renowned National Acts such as Nick Jonas, Party Next Door, Brent Faiyaz, Duckwrth and NOMBE.
Zuri a renowned musician in the WNY area and comes from music family with her mother and Buffalo Public School Music teacher Linda Appleby and Father Rodney Appleby who also is a musician. Z, who just finished an International Tour with Yuna has been announced to close out this year’s Ultimate Sunday Funday Festival at Silo City.
WHAT: 3rd Annual Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Festival
WHEN: Sunday August 25th, 2019 – “Ultimate Sunday Funday”
WHERE: Silo City
Lowe: First off, I appreciate you taking the time to do this interview with me! Your visual single “Ok Love” feat. Jon P is beautiful. The vibe is pure and the storyline seems so familiar. Is it attached to an upcoming project of yours? I’ve only heard you by way of Dirty Logan artist, Dough (Dough Van Gogh). Also, what was the message you were trying to convey in this video?
Don!: It’s truly a blessing to be recognized for my art. I definitely appreciate you for taking the time out to check me out and allow me to promote myself via your platform. Thank you.
“Ok Love” was partly inspired by a friend Kay Hudgins. She embodies characteristics of a women chasing her dreams. I created the song to help motivate women of all walks of life to keep striving and keep going. Continue your pursuit no matter what. I have many friends who can relate too making big moves with little knowledge of what’s to come next. I wanted to be that “keep going” voice in my own way you know. I linked up with Joe P. (Guitarist) who provided the strings and KZA K’ Lee (Producer) who engineered the vision. Together we created a vibe.
The video was inspired by the show “You”. Less stalkerish more admiration. It gives that feel that I see you winning just being awesome and I desire to be close to that type of energy and vibe. It was filmed in Dumbo, Brooklyn. The creative direction of Kay Hudgins and Directed by Mal_2da brought the video to life.
It will be featured on an upcoming collaboration project featuring myself and Joe P. Produced by KZA!
Watch the video below:
Lowe: If people don’t already know you from singing fly hooks for Dirty Logan’s frontman, Dough Van Gogh, how would you describe yourself and your music style?
Don!: That’s my Dawg (Dough)! Situations EP featuring myself & Dough and Player Made Vol. 1 featuring myself, Needo Stakkz & Dough is also out now. Check that out!
Don!: As far as my music I would describe myself as a vibe dealer. By that I mean I create soley off of my vibe in any particular situation. I express myself through melodies. I have a chill cool feel too my music with a background in rap and poetry so it’s easier too construct verses and hooks with clever word play. A lot of times I freestyle it just feels right you know, it’s like the words just come to me and I can’t hear it any other way.
Lowe: When did you first get started singing or when did you actually start taking it serious?
Don!: I’ve been making music here and there for some time now. Dating back to middle school/high school. From a myspace hit (locally), to random songs created in dorm room closets, traphouse studios, or via bandlab on my phone, I’ve always been into music. I would say a rack of people including My mom, sister, Big Homie Ty, Black, Dough, Kenzo, Needo, Fitts, J Dub, Joe P., anybody I ever had a freestyle session with and Big Ups to KZA, all pushed me to really just stop playing and get more aggressive with the moves.
After hitting the studio to record Player Made Vol 1., I knew the time was now. So I locked in and really worked to define my sound and now I feel I’m at the point where I can just create and push.
Lowe: I feel that. Who inspired/inspires your art?
Don!: People, society, vibes, moods, anything really. I love just people watching. Everyone has a story. The awesome part of creating is you creative based off of perception. I’m not biased or one sided so when I create I look at all perspectives involved in what I find interesting. For example if I write about flowers I have to talk about the soil, the sun, the weeds everything that makes the flower whole. Paint a picture. Like Dough said ” I spit an image to the bald head” creating a vivid detail of a vibe.
Lowe: What’s next on the agenda for Don!?
Don!: What’s next for me, a lot to say the least. Collaboration projects, shows outta town, more interviews, more artistic energy. I have a lot planned. Right now I’m focused on solidifying myself as a brand. Finishing up “Vibe Dealer” my debut solo EP which drops later this year, hopefully sometime in September.
My new single “Melanin Wonder” is from the upcoming album an drops this month. It’s an, acoustic based collaboration album with Joe P.
Just heavy promo real heavy. Like after the club handing out flyers heavy. The biggest thing is to connect with the people on a personal level. Face to face interactions. Social media is a beautiful thing but I want to take it back to that street team type promo.
Lowe: I always say word of mouth promotion is a valuable, yet lost form of hustle. You’re definitely on the right track taking it back to the essence.
Don!: Thank you for the love you’ve shown thus far. It means a lot to me. I will continue to keep the vibes going. Special shout out to all of those who believe in me. Aye Mom we on blogs now, we getting bigger! As always “You know how it go, keep it moving like jeep wranglers in the snow you dig me!”
We dig it Don. We dig it.
Be sure to keep up with Don on Instagram by following him at @taylorport_papi!
Flagrant City Veteran Deuce Ellis is launching a luxury line of footwear in conjunction with his upcoming album release “Deuce Ellis Live on Tour“.
Only 50 pairs have been made, the price point is extremely reasonable at $205 a pair, available in all sizes and will be open for pre-order later on this week.
Be sure to visit DeuceEllis.com to pre-order!
Also be sure to check out the previous music release from back in June by Deuce Ellis entitled “Goodbye Blue Monday” HERE.