How I Overcame the Myth of Singleness

Soon I will be celebrating my second year of singleness! In this time I have enjoyed this opportunity of discovering parts of myself: articulating the ways in which I give and accept love, accepting my sexuality, to exploring more of my political identity. In this past year I have become enthralled with Audre Lorde- mostly due to how deeply I identify with her.

Audre Lorde, a queer black woman writer and mother of two, dissected society through her experiences in her literature. She often created terms for the systematic forces that have long gone unnamed like “mythical norms”.

“Somewhere, on the edge of consciousness, there is what I call a mythical norm, which each one of us within our hearts knows “that is not me.” In america, this norm is usually defined as white, thin, male, young, heterosexual, christian, and financially secure. It is with this mythical norm that the trappings of power reside within this society.” (Audre Lorde, sister outsider)

As a practice while I explore where my political identity lie as a feminist or womanist; both or neither- I view society through the lens of mythical norms that I encounter, seeing the intersection of my privilege and oppression.

Everyday I enter the world I am treated differently depending on what I wear, on how I speak and who is with me.Wheather I am alone or with my children, there is a stigma attached to the stares from strangers that is constant: that I am lacking or missing something since a man is not present.

In our society women’s  worth and value are linked to our relationship with men. As young girls and women we are conditioned to believe that whatever treatment we can sustain and how much labor we can give men determines our value or strength. Our worth then depends on our relationships that we have with them – as romantic partners, in the workplace, in friend circles, etc… Subconsciously in the minds of most, women are still seen and judged in this regard.

When I became pregnant at eight-teen I dealt with the prejudices that people within my religious and general community projected onto me. Since I defied the expectation of preserving myself for a man in marriage by exploring my sexuality and using my body for my own pleasure in my youth, my son was a punishment fitting of my moral crime. I internalized for a long time feelings of worthiness and dutifully responsibility attached to this identity.

Over these past two years, I since discovered the power of my self-worth and know those myths of worthlessness I had internalized are untrue. I, like everyone else have inheritable worth. I am deserving of the love I give myself and those around me. I am deserving of all those who love me. I exercise my power by asserting my wants, my need, my desires for a potential relationship and not accepting less than that. I maybe alone in single statues, but I am not lacking or lonely.

Here’s a list of a few tips that have helped me along this journey that I want to pass along to y’all :

  • Be in relationship with you : set a side time to do things that bring you joy- whether that be things you already enjoy and experiment with new things you’ve never tried before.
  • Learn your love language: do you know how you accept love that makes you feel whole ? Do you know how you enjoy giving love to others? – take the time to write that down, or discover it if you don’t know.
  • Honor your commitments : set scheduled time for self care and follow through. Care for yourself in specific ways – clean your house, tackle your insecurities, go to bed at a set time, eat and drink what will keep your body whole, healed, and healthy.

My femme singleness is just one of the many intersecting pieces of my identity. Being black, queer, a mother, and non-Monogamous add layers of confusion to the outside world. Me being something that is different from what has been defined as normal means living in a state of nothingness constantly subjected to all forms of unjust violence. I am rarely extended the protection or care from folks that are not woman, or black/ of color, or queer, or poor.

There are many folx that exist with me at the intersection of multiple identities. We empower ourselves and each other through love and affirmations. By imagining a world where we are not governed by mythical norms that oppress us and using our power to create them.

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Dirty Logan Entertainment presents Got Loganberry dropping on 7/16 | Sponsored by Jenesis Magazine, BuffaLowe PR & Flagrant City [Mixtape]

Dirty Logan Entertainment presents Got Loganberry the Mixtape dropping on 7/16 @ 7:16pm EST!!!

Sponsored by

  Be sure to visit: JenesisMagazine.com and FlagrantCity.com between now and then for some exclusive releases and additional content from the Dirty Logan camp!!!

GOTLOG

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Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Festival Review 

The inaugural Beau Fleuve Music & Arts Festival kicked off its event with an amazing blues performance by Zuri Appleby, best known for playing with Nick Jonas as his bassist and closed with the anticipated performance of Venzella Joy, best known for playing with Beyoncé as her drummer. These famous Buffalo natives performances got the crowds excited and secured the heightened energy throughout the Festival. 

Beau Fleuve was held at the Buffalo Riverworks, a new and unique venue for an festival that was quiet the same.Upon entrance to the venue, there was a restaurant and bar with a large open space that would be used as an Exhibit Room featuring art exhibits, fashion art, speaker series and vendors. 

Along the back wall there was an entry way down to an arena that offered space to two main stages ,the river stage, more vendors and a stair case that lead to the silent disco located on a stage above the middle of the two main stages. 

On these three stages every art form imaginable was on display: all genres of music from country,Hip Hop, R&B, Neo Soul, Jazz, Indie and more, dance, spoken word, and live performances by painters & barbers. 

Amidst all this talent performers often found themselves competing with each other for space to be heard by their audiences. The amount of talent showcased at this event was astonishing and at time confusing.

 From the festival goers I had the pleasure of speaking with they all wished there was an event program given upon entry detailing the time/location of each performance to ensure they didn’t miss certain sets, but were also optimistic that by next year’s festival these minors kinks would be worked out.

Some of the highlights of the night were the Neo -Soul performances from Drea D’Nor and Lindsay Niccs that drew some of the largest crowds. We Stole the Show and The Pit Dance Crew raised the energy of the crowd as they interacted with festival goers within their sets. But above all, it can be agreed upon that the Silent disco was a definite favorite. 

Upon arrival to the silent disco stage each person is given special headphones that can switch from the three different dj’s mixing on the stage in front of them, these headphones would light up the color of whatever station they were currently listening to. The liveliest time of this was during Truey V’s set where crowds swarmed in circles dancing out to current and classic popular music as well as tunes from Buffalo’s own underground scene.


My personal favorites of the festival were the youth performances, the food, and the overall vibe of the festival. 

The multitalented set performed by the students from Buffalo Center of Arts and Technology was both beautiful and refreshing to see the amount of talent these youth possessed, what they were capable of when given creative freedom and a platform to showcase it. The indoor restaurant offered a delicious twist to the traditional Buffalo Chicken Wings with their Duck Wings rendition, which is meatier than their fellow feathered friends but with all the great flavors of a buffalo wing ! 

Festival goers were all in high spirits and friendly creating a welcoming family friendly environment. There was a strong sense of community among the artist that were mostly all Buffalo natives, their support of each other’s crafts extended beyond their performances, but also to their growth and accomplishments. 

I can go on about the wonderful experience I had at this Festival, it was truly a unique celebration. A celebration of a new Buffalo were artists are given not just space to showcase their craft and perform but a community that fully supports them.  

I look forward to attending next year’s festival and hopefully seeing the work of many other artists from the Buffalo & Western New York area. 

Salon Talk Podcast – Episode 16: Rhonda Lowe [INTERVIEW]

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Arica, Lowe, Fee (pictured left to right)

Salon Talk Podcast – Episode 16: Rhonda Lowe

Have you listened to ya girl Lowe on Salon Talk Podcast yet!?  If not, what are you waiting for!!!???  While home in Buffalo, NY for the Christmas holiday, Flagrant City Boss Lady and BuffaLowe PR CEO, Rhonda Lowe sat down with Arica and Fee the icebreaker for Episode #16 was “how far have you gone in a video/pic or facetime?”  Let’s just say it was a hot and spicy opening!!! LOL. Salon Talk also discussed Lowe’s move to Cali, Cali weed, Burning Clothes, Vandalism and they also Play Over-rated/Under-rated!

Stream the episode live right on the blog here: Salon Talk Podcast – Episode 16: Rhonda Lowe also available on iTunes, Soundcloud and Google Play!

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Be sure to follow @salontalkpodcast @beingrhondajane @buffalowe @flagrantcity  @goodoldank @danktank_official@halfbakedboys @dirtylogan716 on Instagram!

Also be sure to shop RhondaJane.bigcartel.com and BuffaLowe.bigcartel.com and use promo code SALONTALK15 for 15% off your purchase!  Thanks for listening!!!

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Flagrant City EXCLUSIVE: Deuce Ellis – Push It [SINGLE]

Before this new release “Push It”, Deuce Ellis’ latest single “BST9,” recently released earlier this week via 2 Dopeboyz, demonstrates his unconventional style of commercial Hip-Hop fused with a mixture of boldness and braggadocios lyricism.


The new song “Push It” by Deuce Ellis is nothing but pure vibes.  From the eccentric beat to the entrancing lyrics this track is sure to put you in a great mood and take you to your happy place by the beach somewhere.

According to Deuce, “I remember being 16, spending the summer in Buffalo and my cousins taking me all around. I loved those days, they’d play my music in the car and we’d ride and smoke and they’d get me into all the clubs at night.

I was cruising along the western coast of Oahu one day and those memories came back to me and I wanted to capture that vibe and add an element of the new reality I was living.

I wanted to keep it all in the fam so I worked with my girl’s design firm TEETHRatedR on the artwork x and my great friend’s BuffaLowe PR x Flagrant City on the roll out.”

Stream the track here: https://soundcloud.com/deuceellis/push-it/s-SYfWf

Keep up with Deuce Ellis on DeuceEllis.com

PREVIOUS:  Deuce Ellis – Experiments In Electricity [Album]

ALSO:  DeuceEllis x Upcoming HipHop Presents Suffer Fools Gladly [Mixtape]

Around BuffaLowe: The Public presents the Buffalo Cultural Showcase Buffalo Ironworks 6.10.16 [RECAP]

JUST got my copy of the paper in the mail by way of my FlagrantCity.com partner Mackenzie Harris aka Kenzo The Geist and I have to say, I’m very proud that BuffaLowe PR and Flagrant City were able to assist with sponsoring this AWESOME event.

Listen to the LIVE podcast from The Buffalo Cultural Showcase put together by Juug Talk on Soundcloud.

Stream here: https://soundcloud.com/juugtalk/episode43

Take a look at a few of the fun photos from the event with some of our favorite artists: Acid Cupcakes, Juug Talk & of course, the Flagrant Fam & Dirty Logan Gang were out in full force.

Some pretty biddies in Acidcupcakess and a FlagrantCity.com sighting in the cut!
Tag the town! New FlagrantCity.com stickers were given away!
Flagrant City X Acid Cupcakes X Dirty Logan
Dirty Logan Hit Em Up Style
Kenzo Knows
Fernandough The Poet


  

Juug Talk hosting their live podcast with Dirty Logan in the cut.
Dirty Logan member repping Flagrant City en route to The Buffalo Cultural Showcase

Around BuffaLowe: THE PUBLIC presents the Buffalo Cultural Showcase Buffalo Ironworks [6.10.16]

FlagrantCity.com and BuffaLowe PR are sponsoring this AWESOME event being held at Buffalo Ironworks presented by The Public!!!!! Pick up your copy of the paper today #AroundBuffaLowe and come out THIS Friday 6/10 and network with Buffalo’s talented creatives in music, fashion, art & food!!! 💸 $6 admission gets you in!!!

RSVP: BUFFALO CULTURAL SHOWCASE

Fun eats will be provided by Gourm-Asian Food Truck!

 

Come shop in style with Acid Cupcakes!

 

 

Simone Alexis of Acid Cupcakes will be holding a mini-pop up shop! Stop bys to come out & shop some unique vintage pieces from Acidcupcakes.com !!!!
Nataka Morris of Juug Talk plan to host separate segments. For example, she’ll be doing the fashion portion, and if I were home, she would be interviewing people like myself, about what their brand means to them and how they got started. Another Juug Talk host will be doing a food portion, another will be doing a music portion, and another will be doing art!  Nataka says “We plan on getting everyone involved in our show including attendees and all of those who are a part of the show. We want to leave with everyone knowing exactly who we are and what we do. Our biggest goal is to bring Buffalo’s talent to life. I’m positive that we can all agree that is what we want people to know the most about us. It does not matter to us what your talent is. We want everyone to know that we support them. We also aim to keep our listeners in the loop about what is going on in the world when it comes to entertainment and everything else. We want to put our city on the map. I personally love our city with everything I have. It’s a beautiful place and it made me into the person I am today. I want to share that with everyone!”

FRIDAY IS GONNA BE AWESOME, SHOP BUFFALOWE.US AND SAVE!

PROMO CODE: BUFFCULTURALSHOW